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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in the Don's LiveJournal:

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Monday, January 26th, 2009
6:06 pm
Getting the poison out
Sometimes it is good to let the poison out of my head, so I sometimes indulge in writing. This sort of flowed out this afternoon at work, and I couldnt really stop it. I will put it here so that I don't lose it.


In the corners that are my mind
I smell of blood and turpentine
And for each one who might draw near
More shall cower away in fear

In the corners that are my mind
I hear a fearful engine whine
For to revenge or judgement mete
Surging forth on its iron feet

In the corners that are my mind
I touch on something serpentine
Knowing that I cannot be free
From the very thing that is me

In the corners that are my mind
I taste like sugar unrefined
Sickly sweet always craving more
Molassass drips from every pore

In the corners that are my mind
I see the things too small to find
Reeling in a timelessness of space
As though this is the only place

In the corners that are my mind
I cannot count on my own kind
For in their rampant averice
No kindred soul can I entice

Current Mood: Emptied
Thursday, December 6th, 2007
3:17 pm
Yes, Santa is made of candy
Santa is hollow. I crushed his head before peeling away his metalic skin. Most of his head fell into his hollow body, so I am now pulling bits off his torso. I will finish his head about the same time as his feet.
Monday, December 18th, 2006
6:39 pm
6:24 pm
The post I shoulda made months ago.
Well, Here we go, just to prove I am not dead... Why do you all look so disappointed? One day I am sure I will get the shallow grave by the railroad tracks that I so richly deserve, but that day has not come yet. Put that stone down.

All right, lets get you all up to speed. After I was layed off work last December, I decided to mooch off the unemployment insurance as long as I could. That turned out to be about 8 months. I must have gotten bored along the way, because I took 2 weeks off from my unemployment to get a bartending certificate from a trade school in Mountain View. It was fun playing with the bottles of coulored water, and playing pretend to be a bartender, but after that I had to go out and get a real job. I had some interesting interviews along the way. I think the best story was one I drove up and got there about 45 minutes early, so I sat in the spacious, well lit lobby for a while. It was about 15 minutes before my handler was going to come lead me through security when the MAN walked by. The guy who owned the place. I just sat there fanning myself with my paperwork, and in retrospect, having not taken the job, I feel as though I missed an opertunity. I mean, how often do you get within spitting distance of George Lucas?

LucasArts asked how much I felt I should be making, and I told them what I was making an hour at my last job. They hemmed and hawwed, and said, "Yeah, I dont think we would be able to match that." So, I had given Manpower a call, just for giggles. I was on my way to another interview a few weeks later, totally had frgoten about Manpower. They called me on my cel while I was driving to an interview, and tell me they want me to interview at HP for a hardware compatibility testing for video games gig with an hourly pay scale that was a few dollars higher than what I had been making before. It is through Manpower, so there are no benefits. When I got to my interview with Makena Technologies, aka There.com, the interview went realy well. THe VP of the company asks what I think I should be making, and I tell him I would like to match the potential HP pay and I would also like benefits. He didnt bat an eyelash when he said, "I think we can do that, no problem." I started on August 14 under a 1 month contract, and then they offered me a regular position with a salary that works out to be a little higher than what I had originally asked for.

Being on salary is working out for me here. It is not the 60 to 80 hour a week grind for little pay and no respect I was doing for Atari. Sometimes I work a little more than 40 hours in a week, but more often it is a little less, and it is not QA. I like the people I work with, and I lucked into a cube with a window. The guy who was here moved down to our Laguna Beach office, and I got a 3rd floor cube with a view. Sure it is a view of a parking lot and a freeway, but it is a view, dammit. Other perks? The CEO of the company is more interested in making the people who work for him happy and productive than he is about the bottom line, right to the point that once a month he forks over cash from his own pocket to provide on-site, hour long massages for whoever wants one. You see, this company is just a thing that is fun for him to do, and he wants it to be fun for our members as well as a profitable and fun venture. He already made his wealth as one of the core programmers of eBay. I think it comes out in the product when workers are happy, especially something like There.com. What we do is fun, and we are making money at it. How cool is that? Although, I still have those moments where I think to myself, this is too good, when is the other shoe going to fall? I guess I was so ground down for so long, I am not sure what to be now that I am not miserable.

So to sum up, I am making a living wage at a cushy job in the Silicon Valley, and I have enough free time and disposable income to enjoy myself for a change. In any other part of the country I could afford to buy a house, but I wouldnt want to live anywhere I could afford to buy a house. Not bad for a barely functional paranoid personality with nothing better than an AA degree.

Current Mood: cheerful
Thursday, February 16th, 2006
11:25 am
A day outside the thrall of my computer
Having dinner with a friend of mine recently, she told me I have become self-centered and selfish, emotionally detatched from the world around me, and I have lost a measure of my humanity because of it. I am inclined to trust her judgement, as I have noted that I take little more than a cursory interest in whatever is going on around me. I am not, however, fully convinced that this detatchment is a bad thing, as I am no longer miserable all the time. Although, I hate the thought that I have become selfish. That is something I must work on. I have also noted that I am much more personable and "talkative" online than I am in person. Talking to me face to face, subjects like love, sex, and beauty will shut me right down. Kinda obvious where my issues lie.

Today I have nothing to do but sit by at my mom's house and wait for her to need something. She had surgery on Tuesday to remove a calcium growth from her shoulder, and since I am not working right now I have the time to take care of her. Emotional detachment to the world be damned, first and formost I am a momma's boy. Momma's boy to a pagan lesbian ex-marine sargent momma, that is.

I am still enjoying my "extended vacation", as I have decided to call it. The irony of the situation is that the $357 a week that I am getting in Unemployment covers my expences neatly, but wouldnt if I were working and using my car on a daily basis. Since I am cooking my meals and not consuming much gasoline, I am able to keep my monetery needs down. Also, I appear to have quit drinking, kinda by accident. A few weeks ago I realized it had been weeks since I had any alchohol in the house, and I hadnt noticed. Then I realized that I was totally fine with that. My drinking is directly proportional to my stress level at work, and since I have no coworkers to get snippy with, I have no reason to drink. I will get bored and get a job soon, but for right now I am enjoying my free time.

"I did nothing, and it was everything I thought it would be" - Office Space

Current Mood: content
Monday, January 9th, 2006
9:28 pm
My blood in the carpet
Holy crap, I need new shoes...

Today I walked 3 miles instead of my usual 2. About 2 miles into it, my feet began to hurt, and by the time I got back inside every step was painful. My shoes were chaffing the pads of my feet next to my arches, and it was starting to feel like I was walking on little water balloons. Sure enough, when I inspected the pads of my feet, I found that theere were blisters full of blood on each foot, each about the size of a half dollar coin. I am paranoid of blood clots, so I couldnt leave be, but fortunately in my sculpture toolkit I keep individually wrapped sterile scalpel blades. They are sharper than regular X-acto blades, and better for fine detail work. A couple slices to drain the blood resiviors in my feet, a bit of ointment to keep the blisters from drying out and peeling, or worse yet, getting infected.

I dont think I will be taking any long walks until I get a new pair of shoes.

Other than that, I have been doing quitee well...

Current Mood: annoyed
Thursday, December 8th, 2005
5:37 pm
Caught in a downsizing
What a day.

This morning I got an IM to come to one of the smaller conference rooms only to find out that the company was about to be 20% smaller, and I was not going to be part of the 80% kept on. So today I cleaned out my desk, went out to a 15 person lunch(including 4 others who were layed off too), and stopped at my mom's house on my way home. Its not so bad. It isnt like I was real happy there, and they did have my final paycheck all ready for me, along with the promise of a month's severence to be mailed later. Looking at the upside, I have a month and a half before I will be depending on unemployment, and I will have plenty of time to hang out with friends, and work on my little hobbies.

What a day.

Current Mood: apathetic
Thursday, November 24th, 2005
1:02 am
YARR!.. Who wants to sing?!
This is one of my favorite sea chanties... If you want the tune, go here: http://www.contemplator.com/sea/whiskyjon.html and the midi will automatically play.

WhiskeyCollapse )

Current Mood: Drunk on rum... Lots of rum
Monday, November 7th, 2005
12:15 am
Half way between a chain letter and a virus...
Since I replied to grendel_todd's, I suppose I have no choice.

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, even if we don't speak often, please post a comment with a memory of you and me. It can be anything you want- good or bad. When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people remember about you.

Current Mood: tired
Wednesday, October 26th, 2005
2:49 pm
Tasty Treatz!
Today, during my lunch break, I went to the Its-It factory in Burlingame with some friends. We bought 2 cases of Its-Its, one Mint and one Cappaccino, for Friday's halloween party at work. We wandered into a fenced off area, and got a pic of me next to the Its-It delivery truck, with Clinton, one of the people I work with. I also bought a T-shirt, and they gave me a sparkley sticker. You know, Its-Its are only $17 for 24, if you go to the source? Good fun.

Looks like elevatordown has posted a link to the pictures from his journal...
Saturday, October 22nd, 2005
3:59 am
It's Chinatown, Jake.
4 in the morning. What the hell am I doing still awake? How often do I have to contemplate this question? Why can I never sleep? Grrr...

Current Mood: awake
Sunday, October 16th, 2005
2:34 pm
Thanks for nothing, Buddha.
A haiku:

Buddha said to me,
"You are gonna get nothing,
And you will like it."
Wednesday, October 12th, 2005
12:48 am
The crowd
I used to run with a "gang". I use quotes, because it was really a legal technicality. In Sunnyvale, 4 people or more roaming the streets at night was considered a "gang", and we were a pack of 7 on a slow night. When my friends found this out, they decided that the "gang" needed a name, and we became the CSB. I am not going to reveal the meaning of the acronym, I will leave it to the imagination of any who feel compelled to read my journal. My favorite was "Crank, Speed & Barbiturates", but feel free to post any guesses you might have. If you are one of the precious few who know the real one, don't post it here.

I was thinking about the old crew. We had a peculiar tradition that has stuck with me, even now, nearly a decade later. I have no idea how it started, but we had a way of remembering what should not be lost. I know, that is kind of vague, but bear with me a moment. We were a tribe, and the only histories we knew we would have were oral ones, which is why I still tell the story of the Great Seminary Incident. You can find that one earlier in my journal, or in my Memories. When something was worth knowing, worth repeating, and we knew it was, we would say "let it be thus" and clap 3 times. Those who would agree would say so too and clap. It seems kinda silly in retrospect, but I remember the things worth remembering, and I remember who agreed with me.

Current Mood: drunk
Friday, October 7th, 2005
12:37 am
A post about not posting
My life generates very little drama. It doent give me much to write about. I have a job I am bored of, so I dont like to think about it when I am not actually doing it. I go out and I do stuff, but when I try ot write about it, it just seems so dull. What do I do when I am not at work? I spent 3 weeks sculpting. Thats all you get. Meeting adjourned.

Current Mood: apathetic
Saturday, October 1st, 2005
12:30 am
Muppet Spotting
I've been watching Muppet Show lately. I have a complete archive on my computer, thanks to elevatordown. One of my favorite surreal moments is from the episode with Marisa Berensen skipping around a dollhouse interior set dressed as a child in a pink dress singing "You're Always Welcome at Our House" as she reveals the bodies of the victims in the song. It truely is a thing of beauty.

By Shel Silverstein

Friday, September 30th, 2005
3:44 pm
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Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com</td>

Current Mood: tired
Wednesday, September 14th, 2005
10:35 am
I had a blast on Sunday
Sometimes I forget how many friends I have. Dave, Morgan, Brandon, William, Meghan, Jenny, Geoff, Jeremy, Mary, Seth, Paula, Jennifer, Irish, Audrey, Mike, Russ, Nick, Dean, Sammy, Walkingstick, Keeler, Judy, Piers, Stuart the Girl, Jason, Jim, Eric, Ken, Daniel, Natalia, Bill, Tamera, Mom and Jan all showed up to spend the afternoon and evening with me. I got there at 2:30 and stayed till 11. Those who couldnt make it were missed, but damned if I didnt have a good time. My moms made me a cake in the shape of a castle, and at one point somebody put Tron on the TV inside the house. I stayed out in the yard wandering from conversation to conversation. I was able to stand in one spot, turn completely around, and always be looking at someone I like, and nobody I didnt. It was an awsome feeling. Good food, strong drink, good friends and good times. I am a rich man.


Current Mood: satisfied
Wednesday, August 31st, 2005
3:02 pm
Finalized birthday plans
There are some friends on my list whose email I don't have. This is the mass-invitation to my birthday barbeque on September 11th. It's a Sunday, and I figure I won't be in any mood to have anybody arount till about 2. It will go till I get sick of all y'all, and kick you out.
It'll be at my house, my number is 408-262-8029, call for directions.

I will provide the barbeque and charcoal, and some meats, sodapop and maybe some beer if I can afford it. Food and beveragy goodness is apreciated more than birthday presents, and the presence of friends is desired more than anything. I am planning this to be a mellow kinda hang out and loaf thing.

Poor planning and hope is all I am going on here, so if you would like to lend a hand in making this happen, gimme a call, cuz I could surely use it.


Current Mood: crazy
Tuesday, August 30th, 2005
1:04 am
Meh Toof!
I grind my teeth. It is a nervous habit, like chewing on figernails (which I dont do any more) or cracking knuckles (which I dont do anymore... much). But apparently my mighty jaws only took a year to chew through a ceramic crown. My dentist says they are going to have to have metal in the next one. Fine by me. Last week I think it broke, but it wasnt till today when I was eating a bagel (Wait, bagels arent crunchy... BAGELS ARENT CRUNCHEEEEEE!) that it decided to fall out. A half-molar sized chunk of ceramic fell out of my head leaving a sizable gap that made me feel understandably uncomfortable. I sent an email to my boss saying that I was off to see the dentist, and since my carpool buddy was in the cube at the time, I told him that I was off. He decided that today was a good day to work from home. Now we come to the part where I admit I am a bad person. We have an extra in the carpool at the moment, and it totally slipped my tiny mind to tell him I was out. I just hope he got home all right. When I got home at 7pm he was aleady offline, so I am going to assume he figured out a way home for himself. I may be a bad person, but I dont dwell on it. Sweetness and light, like mum used to say: "Dammit, I want sweeness and light from you two!" My sister and I fought like caged rats. I digress... Today was dental fun, and I get my new "perminent" crown on the 8th of September. Now I sleep.

Current Mood: sleepy
Sunday, August 28th, 2005
7:41 pm
Small victory
I cut a new hole in my belt. Yay.

Slowly the parts of me I do not accept as me melt away. If I can do it to my mind, dammit I can do it to my body. I just need to keep up on the midnight walks, and wrestling with the Bowflex.

Current Mood: good
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